Dear Future Hubby,
I know you’re not psychic or anything. If you were, you would have figured out by now that we’re supposed to be together by consulting your brain, or a magic eight ball, or Dream phone or something. But clearly you’re not and Dream Phone is just collecting dust in closet. So since you’re not going to go all Ms. Cleo on me, but do me a favor. If you RSVP for a party, actually show up, because careful thought, planning, time, and money go into me getting ready to go to a party where you will be. Actually, just RSVP to begin with so I know right out of the gate if I need to make an effort.
Every girl will admit that if we are going out to a party or bar where we think a guy we like is going to be, we put way more effort into how we look. Taking another shower. Putting make up on. Putting contacts in if we wear glasses. Shaving our legs. Using fabulous smelling lotion as opposed to just the regular stuff. Busting out the best perfume we have. Straightening our hair. Standing in front of our closet for an absurd amount of time trying to determine what to wear. Changing said outfit when we decide it’s not good enough. Really, you can see how much planning goes into putting ourselves together if we think we’re going to see you.
A couple of weeks ago, I was going to a friends party when I realized that without even thinking about it, I was primping as if a boy I liked was going to be there. Ok, I’ll admit it. My Favorite Mistake was going to be there. Sure, he’s just a friend, but for some reason, any time I know he’s going to be some place I go, I tend to go through the Party Primping routine as if something is actually going to happen with us. Spoiler aleart: Nothing ever does and nothing ever will.
Regardless, there I was at the party, boozing it up, talking with friends, and MFM was no where insight. Didn’t he know that I had spent at least an hour and a half getting ready between a bath, clothes, make up, hair, etc.? If he wasn’t going to be there, I could have just gone in my converse, jeans, and glasses and called it a day. Also, make up is expensive. I did not waste precious, valuable, expensive make up, applying it for a party that he apparently wasn’t going to show up to. Clearly, my inner monologue over this must have gotten through to him some how because he finally did show up, so my efforts were not in total vain. Thanks, MFM.
This goes both way though or ultimately backfires. What if I hadn’t taken the time to look presentable for some event and then you happen to show up. Something tells me you might be talking to the leggy blonde in the corner instead of me. Or I could simply be forgetful and totally forget that I may have an opportunity to see a crush. For example, woke up this morning and dressed weather appropriate which in southern California when it’s raining means jeans and Uggs. Add a blah top, a scarf, and my glasses, it’s a pretty ok outfit. It wasn’t until halfway to work that I remembered that I could potentially have a legit run in with one of my celeb crushes today. And not just a daydream “Oh wouldn’t it be great if whatshisname shows up in line behind me during lunch?” No. We’re talking more than 50% chance that I would run into him at work today. Clearly if I had remembered this, I would have put WAY more thought into outfit choice today.
So do me a favor. If you’re invited to a party or bar of social gathering of any type that I will be at, please RSVP so I know if I need to put in some serious effort. Or a text would be nice reminding me that I will be seeing you and should remember not to wear pajamas outside or just letting me know you’re TOTALLY looking forward to seeing me said social gathering. Because really…what guy wouldn’t be totally looking forward to seeing a girl who can reference Dream Phone and Ms. Cleo all in the same blog post?
Your Future Wife