Constantly in communication

Dear Future Hubby,

In a relationship, it’s always nice to have good communication. It’s always nice to stay in touch, even if it’s just a daily text, email, phone call, message via carrier piegeon. What isn’t nice though is text, calls, emails. All day. Every day. Esepcially, if you haven’t even met me yet and we’ve haven’t even gone on our first date.

Don't be that guy

Welcome back to the land of the okcupid first date. Frist date land has been pretty uneventful as of late, until this past week, where I had the misfortune of agreeing to go on a date with Too Much Texting. As things generally do in okcupid first date land, our emails back and forth to one another started off well enough, especially since he brought up Brian Wilson in the first message. Word the wise, best way to get my attention in my quest to find Future Hubby? Mention my Dream Future Hubby in your first message to me. I will clearly give you a shot if you can carry on a conversation about Brian Wilson and his beard.

By last Wednesday, we had exchanged numbers, he had called and we had set up our first date. My first indication this was going to end badly was that he kept me on the phone for 20 minutes, during the work day, and then tried to keep me on the phone even longer with a “So can you keep talking?” Don’t you have a life? Sorry, I have a job and I kind of need to get back to it. Second issue. He wanted to go to UCB for our first date. Number one, I’ve never been a huge fan of improv. Number two, what happened to the hey, let’s grab a drink or coffee first date? I agreed to go anyway.

Cut to the next day, when at 10 AM, I get a general “have a good day, what do you have going on?” text from him. Not wanting to be rude, I texted back. This then turned into him texting me all day, about once every two minutes, about the most random shit. Then I stupidly at one point mentioned I was really good at movie and tv trivia, which prompted him to just continue texting me trivia questions. My personal favorite that made me go “I need to cancel this date/this guy is weirding me out/kill me now” moment: What was eating Gilbert Grape? Oh. My. God.

Meet me BEFORE you become a crazy texter

The texting continued even when I didn’t respond, along with phone calls, followed by more texting the next day. Was this guy aware that he hadn’t even met me yet? He could meet me and end up hating me. Was he aware that you’re supposed to play hard to get? It’s not just for girls, dude. By Friday night, I had cancelled. Well, I had come up with some excuse to get me out of it for the time being. Yeah, I know. Chicken shit move. If anyone asks, I’m in NC for work.

So FH, please keep this in mind when making first date plans with me. If you text me incessantly and ask me dumb trivia questions, I’m going to want to cancel. I’m going to make up some lame excuse as to why I can’t go out with you anymore. Do you really want to be the next Text Too Much? That’s right, I didn’t think so.

Not to say I don’t love the attention and a text or call every now and then, but at least wait until you’ve met me, decided you like me enough in person to WANT to call or text me, and then go from there. It’s a best way to ensure I don’t “have to go to North Carolina for work” or schedule another, normal “let’s grab a coffee” date in your place which, yes, I’ve already done.

Xo,
Your Future Wife

Tags: Cancelled Dates, First Dates, First Impressions, okcupid, Online Dating