Tag Archives: Amazeball Ideas

Kick-ass couples costumes

30 Oct

Dear Future Hubby,

It’s that time of the year. The time for…my least favorite holiday. Halloween.

Thanks for the costume, Mom

I know, I know. How can Halloween be my least favorite holiday? It’s costumes. It’s candy. What’s not to like about it? Honestly, I don’t know why it’s my least favorite holiday, but I’ve just never been a fan. This doesn’t mean I don’t dress up for Halloween. I do. I’ve had some pretty kick ass costumes too. When I was little, it was princesses, angels, 50s poodle skirt girls. As I got older, it switched to things like Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany’s, Cruise Director, and my best costume yet, Hottie Cop. I bought that one 4 years ago for 60 bucks and legit, it’s paid for itself over and over again, whether being worn for Halloween or random nights in Vegas.

The only downside to all these costumes is that because of a lack of you, I’ve never really been able to do any joint costumes. Sure, I dressed up with my friends as the Spice Girls growing up, but we’re talking about way more intense costume duos. Duos that only we could accomplish because if we’re dating and I’ve got enough sway to convince to wear something so redonkulous.

Duos like Barbie & Ken, Bert & Ernie, Blair Waldorf & Chuck Bass, Gilligan & Maryanne or…a team from LEGENDS OF THE HIDDEN TEMPLE!

We could be this cool

That’s right. Jump back, Kevin Bacon. Don’t lie. You know it’s the best idea ever and you’re secretly thanking the universe for leading you to me for the soul fact that for one Halloween you too could be a Blue Barracuda. If we’re lucky, we can even find a friend to dress up as Ole Mec. Just imagine how fab we’d look in our blue shirts, yellow helmets and water socks. If we’re lucky, we’ll be at a party with people who will appreciate us when we attempt to recreate the Steps of Knowledge and the Temple Games in the middle of the dance floor as if we’re really trying to make it to the end and find the Helmet of Joan of Arc.

Just think about it. It’s no doubt the best Halloween costume idea ever, so start rewatching old episodes of LOTHT to make sure you’re in character enough for next years Halloween.

Xo,
Your Future Wife

Churro + Turkey Leg = True Love

12 Apr

Dear Future Hubby,

One of the cool things about working so close to BowieBride is the fact that her office rocks. Last Friday, our lot gave us free tacos for lunch and rather than eat all by my lonesome self at my desk, I opted to eat upstairs with her and the Psych writers. Coolest people ever. I mean, I already knew this after I convinced their PA, Dan, to buy Puffins for their kitchen so I could come up and eat them, but hanging out with them for the lunch hour proved even more how awesome they all are. They even gave me one of the most brills ideas about how to meet you as well.

Two of the writers used to work together at Disneyland back in the day and it just so happens that they both met their wives while working at the happiest place on earth. Insert cartoon of wheels in my head spinning into motion. Disneyland? Happiest Place on earth? Potential Future Hubby meeting ground? Um, why had I not thought about this before? I mean, sure, I have never in my life aspired to work at Disneyland, but after hearing about the track record it has with hooking people up, I thought, damn, I totally missed out on this opportunity.This would have been a totally great meet cute.

When I was in grad school, I lived RIGHT BY DISNEYLAND. I was an annual pass holder. While I was busy racking up student loan debt, I could have been earning some cash and finding you at Disneyland. The more I thought about it, the more amazeballs scenarios I came up with for how we could have met while working at Disneyland.

My future "office"

Option 1: Food Vendors – I would have worked the Churro stand and you could have worked the turkey leg stand across the way. After sweating in our polyester uniforms day after day, our eyes would have met through the crowds of screaming kids in strollers and it would have been fate. Between our two carts, we would have catered our whole wedding and then just brought the frozen lemonade stand guy in to man the drink station. It would have been magical.

We look so dreamy

Option 2: Characters – We could have been Cinderalla and Prince Charming on one of the parade floats that rolls down the street twice a day. We would have dance and sang along to the Parade of Dream songs (which really is truly magical and perfect for our first dance). After rolling down the street two times a day, we eventually would have fallen in love and gotten married in front of Cinderalla’s castle. Chip and Dale would serve as the ring bearers and Snow White would be my MOH. All the other characters would come to celebrate.

Blue pants = perfect wedding attire

Option 3: PhotoPass Cast Members – Yes, that’s their actual title. We’d be those aggressive, annoying people that try and stop guests as they are walking into the park to we can take their picture and then if they want, they can go pay $20 bucks for it at the end of the day. You’d find my persuasive skills of luring people towards me for pictures charming and eventually go slightly stalkerish and start taking pictures of me instead because you found me that beautiful and charming. We’d eventually tie that knot and have the entire Disneyland photographer staff on hand to document our wedding (and then charge us an arm and a leg for the pics).

All excellent options for us to have met. I’m bummed that I missed out on this opportunity. However, as an employee of a Disney owned company, I do now possess a Disney Silver Pass, which allows me to get into the park any time with three friends. Maybe I can still find you at Disneyland. I mean, how could I resist a hot looking dude that’s sweating over a turkey leg cart? I know, it’s impossible. And if you really want to win me over, you’ll get me a front of the line pass for Space Mountain for the rest of my life. Just sayin…

Xo,
Your Future Wife

Introducing the Official Gaelic Gala Welcome Crate

26 Mar

Dear Future Hubby,

Seeing as Gaelic Gala is in a whole different country, every single person at our wedding is going to be an OOTer. Out of Towners! Hell, even we will be OOTers at our own wedding, despite the fact that I like to consider Killarney my “home” in Ireland. I’ve gone to a fair number of weddings out of town, and while none of them were anywhere that exciting, the fact that we are having Gaelic Gala in a whole different country AND it’s a week long vacation for everyone, I really think we should put together OOTer kits for everyone. A little “welcome” bag if you will with goodies and items that will make their stay in Ireland easier and more relaxing. I want everyone to feel like they are going some Oscar gifting suite with our “welcome” bags and not just hoping across the pond for a little jaunt in the Irish countryside.

NOT included in the welcome crate

“Welcome” bags or baskets have always been given with the best intention to contain items to make the people feel more at home in a new place. More often than not, the bags includes lists of activities for people to do in their spare time, maps, and a couple of wedding theme related or location related goodies. Well, jump back Kevin Bacon, because our OOTer “Welcome” baskets/bags are going be so off the fucking hook. We’re talking so awesome, we may need to make OOTer “Welcome” crates, like the ones dropped on the island on Lost…just minus all the Dharma food. That’s how much stuff is going into this thing. Not only will the items be helpful and informational, but also Irish themed and beyond ridiculous

Included in the official Gaelic Gala OOTer welcome crate will be:

  • A weekly itinerary of planned day trips for guests – to take place on the party bus we will be renting so everyone can get shitfaced while bumping along the narrow Irish roads next to some sheep. On the itinerary:

-  Trip to Waterford/Blarney Castle – Sunday
-  Ring of Kerry bus tour – Monday
-  Trip to Cork – Tuesday
-  Trip to Cliffs of Mohr & Galway – Wednesday
- Trip to Bantry Bay –Thursday

    • A laminated map of Ireland (so no one ruins their maps when they spill beer on it)
    • An Ireland guide book
    • A bottle of Jameson
    • Various types of Irish Beer (Guinness, Harp, Killian’s Magners, etc.)
    • A couple of bars of Irish Spring soap
    • A box of Lucky Charms
    • An Aran Wool Sweater (cause it can get chilly there in June)
    • A Guinness bottle opener
    • A Team Gaelic Gala t-shirt
    • An umbrella and a green poncho
    • A book of Irish drinking songs (to be practiced on the bus)
    • Kerry Gold Butter & Dubliner Cheese (um, better refrigerate that)
    • Irish Breakfast Tea
    • A DVD of Circle of Friends (Who doesn’t love Chris O’Donnell?)
    • A leprechaun figurine (cheeseball extreme)
    • A package of Instant Irish Accent Breath Spray

    We are buying this in bulk

    Don’t worry, I know you’re beyond pissed that you’re actually the groom and not a wedding guest so you can get one of these amazeball crates. Fear not, I’ll make sure to have an extra made for you. I know how much you want that Instant Irish Accent Breath Spray. Actually, I want you to have it. Accents always make anyone 150% hotter, so we better get you a ton of that shit. You don’t want me leaving you at the alter cause I met a hot Irish bloke name Liam down at the pub who may be slightly less attractive than you, but with the Irish accent and all, he wins. Sorry.

    Xo,
    Your Future Wife

    Emerald Isle Engagement Party

    23 Mar

    Dear Future Hubby,

    See that planter on the left? Don't end up there.

    Yeah, I’ve been neglectful for the past few days. I wish I had a good story for you like St. Patrick’s Day just turned into a really long St. Patrick’s Weekend and I woke up Sunday morning to find myself asleep in a flower planter outside Irish Eyes in Chicago nursing a huge hangover. No, I’m not speaking from experience, I’m not that balls crazy. But I do know someone who that did happen to. Remind me to tell you when you meet him so you can mock him for that.

    Being half Irish, my St. Patrick’s Day was mildly uneventful. I know, I know. How the hell am I allowed to have Gaelic Gala when I can’t even stomach corned beef and cabbage and celebrated the holiday by watching Millionaire Matchmaker while drinking a Shamrock Shake from McDonald’s? Fail right there. They are taking away my Irish genes as we speak.

    But the thought of St. Patrick’s Day got me to thinking about how we can incorporate the greatest holiday ever into our wedding. Gaelic Gala is going to be in June so having our wedding on St. Paddy’s Day is a little out of the question. There is no way in hell I’m getting married in freezing Ireland in the middle of March. So having our engagement party on the holiday is a great compromise. We can be here or anywhere really. Honestly, Chicago would be preferred. No city except Chicago (and maybe Boston) knows how to properly celebrate it.

    I used to think that I’d want to have some ridiculously prim and proper engagement party where everyone was standing around, sipping champagne and everything looking like a scene out of The Stepford Wives. Yeah, clearly I was delusional. As much as I love elegant affairs, I want our engagement party to be reflective of us as well. A celebration. A chance for our friends to come, have a pint, and rejoice in merriment. 10 bucks to the first person who gets drunk enough to do an Irish jig (BowieBride, I’m looking at you).

    Ok, maybe it doesn’t have to be balls crazy Irish, like a eight bar pub crawl, someone dressing up as a leprechaun, or people kissing a fake Blarney stone, but it would be kind of cool to perhaps rent out an Irish bar on St. Patrick’s Day and have our friends not only come to celebrate the holiday, but celebrate our engagement as well. Here are some ideas I’ve come up with to not have our engagement party be in the spirit of the holiday, but elegant as well.

    Admit it, this is an awesome idea.

    Whiskey and Beer tasting stations: Think wine tasting party but with whiskey and beer. You’d be surprised how much Irish booze one can assemble when needed.

    Irish inspired foods: Yes, I hate corned beef and cabbage, but that doesn’t mean I’m opposed to serving it at our St. Paddy’s Day engagement party. I’ll just be over at the desert bar hording Bonnafee Pie or eating Brown Bread (aka Soda Bread) and Champ like it’s going out of style.

    Irish Music: No, we cannot have Celtic Thunder at the engagement party. I don’t want to ruin their grand performance at the reception, but there are wonderful Irish bands that would make great entertainment like Flogging Molly or hell, I may even pull Gaelic Gala in for a warm up performance to their gig at the Stag/Hen party.

    So start prepping you liver now as this will be the warm up event to Gaelic Gala. Really, the whole reason we’re having our engagement party on St. Paddy’s Day is so everyone can be fully prepared by the time they hit Ireland. Just please for the love of god don’t end up passed out in a planter. If you do, you will be mocked and there will be photographic evidence available for everyone afterward.

    Xo,
    Your future wife

    What would you do for a free wedding?

    10 Mar

    "Yay, we got all this shit for free!"

    I’ve figured out a way to make Gaelic Gala happen without winning the lotto.  We’ll just go on The Bachelor! Go ahead and judge me for this, but I may have totally Tivo’D Molly and Jason’s wedding on TV on Monday night and dude, that shit was amazeballs.  Even though it was raining, they had hands down one hell of a kick ass wedding. And here’s the best part. ABC footed the bill for EVERYTHING

    The a gorgeous ceremony at Terranea Resort in Palos Verdes, which if we for some reason scrap for Gaelic Gala and my back up location of Pebble Beach, this could be a strong contender.  Molly wore a Monique Lhuillier gown which I would seriously sell my kidneys to own and wear. They had a bachelor/bachelorette weekend in Vegas. Ken Paves was brought in to do Molly’s hair.  Molly and her bridesmaids had specially designed Manolo’s. Gavin DeGraw performed at the reception.  They had the most gorgeous place settings and center pieces. Molly wore Neil Lane jewelry! Clearly, all amazeballs.

    So here’s what our plan should be. We should some how both get on The Bachelor/Bachelorette.  We can play rock paper scissors for who actually gets to be The Bachelor/Bachelorette.  I honestly think I should be The Bachelorette because I’m probably want to dump you for making me live in a house with catty, back stabbing girls. Then we’ll have to get you to be one of the suitors. This shouldn’t be a problem since the Bachelorette helps pick who will be on that season.

    Then we’ll have to lie that we’re some amazing catch or a millionaire or say we have a really weird/cool job. Actually, we’ll have to do a lot more to get on the show. We’ll both have to fake and bake, which for me being a pale Irish girl should be interesting.  I’ll have to get a lot of plastic surgery, botox, and buy dresses only strippers where. We’ll have to get your eyebrows waxed and hire you a personal trainer so you look like an Abercrombie model.

    This could be us (after lots of plastic surgery)

    Once we’re both securely on the show, I’ll surprise all the guys by saying I’m Amish or Mormon and A: am waiting for marriage and B: don’t even believe in kissing before marriage. That way I don’t have to kiss anyone else or be forced to hand out stupid little Fantasy Suite cards. I’ll clearly pick you all the way to the end and the show will gift you an engagement ring to give me, and then once we’ve been engaged for a while, we’ll have ABC foot the bill for Gaelic Gala.

    This entire operation though means we will basically have to erase our entire relationship prior to going on the show.  To be safe, we’ll probably have to erase our entire lives before the show. So we’ll need to stage our own deaths, move to different states, live separately, change our names, get reconstructive surgery, get new friends, new jobs, new families, and then in like five years, we can start trying to get on the show.  Really, it’s a full proof plan. I have, however, told a lot of people about Gaelic Gala thus far and we’ll probably have to change all previously made wedding plans to be something completely different that isn’t really reflective of us at all but who cares? We won’t have to pay for any of it.  This whole plan doesn’t sound ridiculous or crazy at all, does it?

    Oh, the things a girl will do for a free Monique Lhuillier dress. We really should just try and win the lotto instead.

    Photo credit: ABC

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