Tag Archives: Free Wedding Stuff

Gift from the wedding gods

4 Oct

Dear Future Hubby,

This letter really shouldn’t be address to you but rather the former tenant of the apartment I now call home. Why do I like this person so much more than you at this current moment? Because that person subscribed to a wedding magazine and never changed their address.

Score. One. For. Me.

Yes, you read that right. I am now in possession of a subscription to The Knot wedding magazine, something that I really have absolutely no business reading seeing as I, oh yeah, haven’t even met you yet, but come on. Let’s get real. I’m a girl. A girl that has created the most epic wedding, Gaelic Gala. Of course I’m going to go crazy with excitement over this new found mail delivery.

Best. Present. Ever.

On Saturday, I was doing absolutely nothing other than loads of laundry, cleaning my room, wikipedia’ing every person portrayed in The Social Network, and finally unpacking from San Francisco. Clearly it was a winner of a day. Around mid afternoon, I headed out to check the mail because what follows up a nice long Mark Zuckerberg biography better than seeing what sort of junk mail you got. And low and behold there is was. The shining beacon of everything girly and fabulous. The Knot wedding magazine. I don’t care that it wasn’t addressed to me. I don’t care that I’m not engaged. All I care about it thanking said previous tenant for NEVER changing their forwarding address. For serious, this isn’t the first mail we gotten for them. We have a whole slew and no one in our building seems to know where they moved. Sad face for them. Happy wedding magazine perusing face for me.

It was the world saying “Hey, remember that whole Gaelic Gala you planned for you and your Future Hubby? Well, you haven’t thought about that in a really long time and you need some serious cheering up since you’ve had a cold all week.” Clearly the rest of my Saturday afternoon was spent reading about the different types of invitations, Southern California wedding venues, what bouquet style would best suit me, so on and so on.

So don’t freak out by this little gem of a magazine. Don’t worry if you walk into my house and find it sitting on my coffee table. Sure, I may be reading it. Sure, I may be imagining the awesomeness that is Gaelic Gala. But at least I didn’t pay for the magazine. That’s would only make this entire scenario more deranged. It’s just a little present from the girly wedding gods above saying “You enjoy to have some fun. There’s not harm in dreaming about your fairytale wedding” not them telling me to go out and buy a wedding dress without even having met you yet.

Xo,
Your Future Wife

The Dollar Store Wedding

7 Apr

Dear Future Hubby,

Dollar Store Dishes

I know you think Gaelic Gala is totally extravagant and no doubt a waste of money, but I mean, if we win the lotto, why not go all out? However, if we don’t win the lotto and must resort to a more frugal wedding, I’ve discovered the most amazing place for us to outfit our ENTIRE wedding….

THE DOLLAR STORE

Yes, you read that right.  I know what you’re thinking. You only go to The Dollar Store when you are totally out of paper towels and a Costco run is out of the question because it’s crazy there and not within the hours that they offer good samples.  But I made a pilgrimage to The Dollar Store this past week with a family member who was buying some joke gifts for people and I discovered wedding heaven.

While perusing the aisle for useless things I would never buy, I came across a plethora of $1 wedding items that will no doubt make the entire wedding special. Things we can get at The Dollar Store for our back up thrifty wedding:

Dollar Store Invitations

Wedding Invitations AND Thank You notes: Looks at the craftsmanship in the lovely white cards with chipping gold and silver printing. One stop shopping for all your wedding paper needs.

Dishes: We can serve all of our treats and meals at the wedding on fabulous plastic plates and champagne glasses, designed to make everyone feel like a king or queen. Plus, our cake will look amazeballs with a great faux porcelain cake topper. Classy.

Dollar Store Decorations

Decorations: We’re talking tissue paper bells, plastic mini doves, tulle circles, heart shaped paper centerpieces, automobile flags, paper garlands, even little bags for the almonds. Every single aspect of our wedding will be covered. I just hope someone doesn’t rip the paper garlands or steal the center pieces. Those are going to be costing a fortune.

Dollar Store Props

Ceremony props: Um, how cute would our ring bearer be walking down the aisle while rocking one of these uber fancy ring bearer pillows.  I bet it’s so nice he could even use it for when he falls asleep on the ground (which a lot of ring bearers eventually do).

Wedding Attire: Ok, I don’t care if I get a rash from rocking a Dollar Store garter, I got it for a dollar. How rockstar is that?  Plus, I bet if we raided the kids costume aisles of enough Dollar Stores, we could absolutely come up with enough costumes to sew together and make my dress and your tux.  I’m apologizing in advance if the various colors of black we don’t match as they’ve no doubt faded over time in the horrible fluorescent lit aisle of TDS.

Dollar Store Wedding Attire

So start saving up, cause we’re going to need at least $50…no, $100 for our shopping excursion to The Dollar Store. You do that while I keep praying we win the lotto so we can make Gaelic Gala happen.

Xo,

Your Future Wife.

The ALMOST Ultimate Honeymoon

29 Mar

Dear Future Hubby,

You have really shitty timing.

We need to win this contest AND be on the cover of this book

It is moments like this that I wish I knew who you were. Most days, I have a very optimistic outlook on life and love and everything will happen when it’s supposed to happen.  Well, guess what? That’s not my outlook today. Why, you ask? Because I read about this – The Ultimate Job in Ireland.

Would you be able to sip champagne, while lying in a hammock slung between two palm trees on a white, sandy beach, with your romantically linked partner beside you, without spilling your drink? Well then, you may just have what it takes for the Ultimate Job in Ireland (and probably the world!).

To celebrate the launch of Ireland’s most exciting destination wedding and honeymoon website, The Irish Times have teamed up with Runaway Bride and Groom to find the right candidate to do 6 months of research… researching the most romantic and ultimate wedding and honeymoon venues around the world – with their partner.

We are looking for the right person (and their partner) to research and test out the most romantic and ultimate wedding and honeymoon destinations all over the world and then report back with their verdict (on the place, not the partner!) to their boss, 4,000 miles away.

Yeah, you read that right. A six month, paid vacation where you get to travel around and test out honeymoon and destination wedding sites. Um, HELLO! Anyone would be crazy to pass that up. It sounds amazing.  I sent the link to BowieBride cause she’s a rockstar at winning wedding related contest, but then I read what you had to do to win:

The successful applicant will be required to research some of the world’s best wedding and honeymoon locations. Ireland is one the world’s best places to have a wedding and we want to tell the world about it! To apply you will need to make an 80 second webcast telling us why Ireland is a great destination wedding location and why you, as a couple, are perfect for the job.

Due to your shitty timing, I'm making you wear this kilt

Dear Irish Times, excuse me, but have you not heard of Gaelic Gala? Only the greatest, most amazing Ireland destination wedding of all time?  Oh you haven’t? Well clearly you’ve been living under a rock over there in Dublin, ignoring that festivity planning I’ve got in the works for Killarney and the surround areas of County Kerry. If you really want me to sit in front of a video camera and detail out the schedule and awesomeness that is Gaelic Gala, I will. But even just reading about it, I’m sure you’ll agree it’s the great Ireland wedding ever and award me the prize, fiancée or not.

With an entry deadline of April 7th, I quickly started calculating how I could convince someone to fall in love and propose to me by April 6th (so we still have time to make the video). I mean, that’s kind of a tough order especially when the only two people I would even consider giving a Future Hubby badge to at this point in time are in Chicago and New York, respectively. Yeah, fail extreme.

Not only is Gaelic Gala clearly the great Ireland destination wedding EVER, but they want a winner who has the following as well:

  • Have good communication skills (Um excuse me, have you read my blog and tweets?)
  • Be passionate about traveling (I wouldn’t be having a wedding in Ireland if I didn’t.)
  • Appreciate good service, fine dining and luxurious surroundings (Who doesn’t? Do you think I LIKE eating ramen and not being able to buy new clothes or a home?)
  • Have a friendly personality (I have 801 Facebook friends, how many do you have Irish Times?)
  • Be able to work on own initiative (Again, have you read this blog?)
  • Know how to enjoy life (I can drink two bottles of red wine while they are duct taped to my hands. I think I have this covered.)
  • Have good organizational skills (You’ve clearly never been to one of my parties.)
  • Have a romantically-linked other-half, who also has the above qualifications and who is willing to accompany you on your trip (in a voluntary capacity). (Sex will be withheld if you do not agree to do this)

Honestly, Future Hubby, we would have this shit in the BAG if only you would get your ass in gear and make shit happen. You better as hell hope they do this contest again the year we are getting married or else I may resent you from day one of our marriage, when really, I should at least wait until after the honeymoon is over.

So step you’re A-Game, mister.

Xo,

Your Future Wife

What would you do for a free wedding?

10 Mar

"Yay, we got all this shit for free!"

I’ve figured out a way to make Gaelic Gala happen without winning the lotto.  We’ll just go on The Bachelor! Go ahead and judge me for this, but I may have totally Tivo’D Molly and Jason’s wedding on TV on Monday night and dude, that shit was amazeballs.  Even though it was raining, they had hands down one hell of a kick ass wedding. And here’s the best part. ABC footed the bill for EVERYTHING

The a gorgeous ceremony at Terranea Resort in Palos Verdes, which if we for some reason scrap for Gaelic Gala and my back up location of Pebble Beach, this could be a strong contender.  Molly wore a Monique Lhuillier gown which I would seriously sell my kidneys to own and wear. They had a bachelor/bachelorette weekend in Vegas. Ken Paves was brought in to do Molly’s hair.  Molly and her bridesmaids had specially designed Manolo’s. Gavin DeGraw performed at the reception.  They had the most gorgeous place settings and center pieces. Molly wore Neil Lane jewelry! Clearly, all amazeballs.

So here’s what our plan should be. We should some how both get on The Bachelor/Bachelorette.  We can play rock paper scissors for who actually gets to be The Bachelor/Bachelorette.  I honestly think I should be The Bachelorette because I’m probably want to dump you for making me live in a house with catty, back stabbing girls. Then we’ll have to get you to be one of the suitors. This shouldn’t be a problem since the Bachelorette helps pick who will be on that season.

Then we’ll have to lie that we’re some amazing catch or a millionaire or say we have a really weird/cool job. Actually, we’ll have to do a lot more to get on the show. We’ll both have to fake and bake, which for me being a pale Irish girl should be interesting.  I’ll have to get a lot of plastic surgery, botox, and buy dresses only strippers where. We’ll have to get your eyebrows waxed and hire you a personal trainer so you look like an Abercrombie model.

This could be us (after lots of plastic surgery)

Once we’re both securely on the show, I’ll surprise all the guys by saying I’m Amish or Mormon and A: am waiting for marriage and B: don’t even believe in kissing before marriage. That way I don’t have to kiss anyone else or be forced to hand out stupid little Fantasy Suite cards. I’ll clearly pick you all the way to the end and the show will gift you an engagement ring to give me, and then once we’ve been engaged for a while, we’ll have ABC foot the bill for Gaelic Gala.

This entire operation though means we will basically have to erase our entire relationship prior to going on the show.  To be safe, we’ll probably have to erase our entire lives before the show. So we’ll need to stage our own deaths, move to different states, live separately, change our names, get reconstructive surgery, get new friends, new jobs, new families, and then in like five years, we can start trying to get on the show.  Really, it’s a full proof plan. I have, however, told a lot of people about Gaelic Gala thus far and we’ll probably have to change all previously made wedding plans to be something completely different that isn’t really reflective of us at all but who cares? We won’t have to pay for any of it.  This whole plan doesn’t sound ridiculous or crazy at all, does it?

Oh, the things a girl will do for a free Monique Lhuillier dress. We really should just try and win the lotto instead.

Photo credit: ABC

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