Tag Archives: Gaelic Storm

The Lord of the Dance is back!

22 Apr

Dear Future Hubby,

Shit just got real.

I’m always trying to think of ways to make Gaelic Gala even better than it already is. I know, how is that even possible as it’s already the coolest, rockstar destination wedding ever?  I mean, every single second of it is planned. What more can we cram in there? Well, I have no idea where we are going to fit this in, but I don’t care.  Gaelic Gala would not be complete without this.

No one rocks a headband like the Lord of the Dance

Hold on to your hats and don’t wet your knickers when I tell you this exciting news but…Michael Flatley is coming back to reprise his starring role in Lord of the Dance! No fucking joke, dude is going to rock the sequined bolero jacket once more and grace the world with his dancing presence. I literally flipped shit when I found this out. This is fate. We have to have him make an appearance at Gaelic Gala now, with the entire touring company. I know it’s not as exciting as if he had rejoined Riverdance, but Lord of the Dance has more flair to it anyway and what’s a wedding without flair.

I’ve been racking my brain as to how to incorporate him as much as possible and I think I’ve come up with some amazing options for us to pursue.

  1. Lord of the Dance show – This is a given. Sure, we’ll have to amend the week itinerary and maybe have a show for everyone a few nights before the wedding or maybe the night that everyone arrives, but I feel if we don’t have a show, we’ll be depriving all of guest of his magicalness. He’s like the David Blaine of the Irish dancing world.

    "Michael, you're an amazing dancer, and you're a great choreographer, but as a boyfriend... you kinda suck."

  2. Irish Dancing Lessons – We should contract him to give our guest Irish dancing lessons at some point during the week. Not only would everyone learn how to dance (aka look like idiots with legs flailing around) but he could also teach the guys the art of pulling off headbands and wearing jackets with no shirt on underneath. He’d also need to teach them how to properly wax/shave their chests, but they can do that after all the girls are off talking about how he’s the Irish David Hasselhoff.
  3. Contest Judging – After he teaches us all how to dance, Michael can be our honorary judge when on the night of the stag/hen party, we all get wasted and try to do an Irish jig at Danny Mann.  He’ll give out extra points if you dance on both the table and the bench. Then a few of the girls will swoon over him, get him drunk as well, and convince him to give an impromptu show with Gaelic Storm on stage. It’ll be the Irish version of going to a strip club.
  4. Flute performance – Did you know Michael Flatley plays the flute? Well, he does, so I would like for him to play said instrument during the ceremony. I mean, how romantic would it be to look over while we’re getting hitched to see Michael Flately rocking it out on a flute?  Pure magic, Kenny G style.

I’m open to any other ideas as to how to incorporate the Lord of the Dance into Gaelic Gala. I know I’ve already discuss have a Michael Flatley shaped cake, which given the fact that he’s now going to be dancing his little heart out for us, might be overkill. But who knows?

Just promise me you won’t get jealous of him. I mean, he is part David Hasselhoff, part David Blaine, part Keebler elf, so it’s hard to compete with that. But I assure you that I’m marry you because I love you and I don’t think I could ever truly fall in love with someone who looks better in sequences and bling than me.

Xo,

Your Future Wife

“President of the Michael Flatley Fan Club”

Emerald Isle Engagement Party

23 Mar

Dear Future Hubby,

See that planter on the left? Don't end up there.

Yeah, I’ve been neglectful for the past few days. I wish I had a good story for you like St. Patrick’s Day just turned into a really long St. Patrick’s Weekend and I woke up Sunday morning to find myself asleep in a flower planter outside Irish Eyes in Chicago nursing a huge hangover. No, I’m not speaking from experience, I’m not that balls crazy. But I do know someone who that did happen to. Remind me to tell you when you meet him so you can mock him for that.

Being half Irish, my St. Patrick’s Day was mildly uneventful. I know, I know. How the hell am I allowed to have Gaelic Gala when I can’t even stomach corned beef and cabbage and celebrated the holiday by watching Millionaire Matchmaker while drinking a Shamrock Shake from McDonald’s? Fail right there. They are taking away my Irish genes as we speak.

But the thought of St. Patrick’s Day got me to thinking about how we can incorporate the greatest holiday ever into our wedding. Gaelic Gala is going to be in June so having our wedding on St. Paddy’s Day is a little out of the question. There is no way in hell I’m getting married in freezing Ireland in the middle of March. So having our engagement party on the holiday is a great compromise. We can be here or anywhere really. Honestly, Chicago would be preferred. No city except Chicago (and maybe Boston) knows how to properly celebrate it.

I used to think that I’d want to have some ridiculously prim and proper engagement party where everyone was standing around, sipping champagne and everything looking like a scene out of The Stepford Wives. Yeah, clearly I was delusional. As much as I love elegant affairs, I want our engagement party to be reflective of us as well. A celebration. A chance for our friends to come, have a pint, and rejoice in merriment. 10 bucks to the first person who gets drunk enough to do an Irish jig (BowieBride, I’m looking at you).

Ok, maybe it doesn’t have to be balls crazy Irish, like a eight bar pub crawl, someone dressing up as a leprechaun, or people kissing a fake Blarney stone, but it would be kind of cool to perhaps rent out an Irish bar on St. Patrick’s Day and have our friends not only come to celebrate the holiday, but celebrate our engagement as well. Here are some ideas I’ve come up with to not have our engagement party be in the spirit of the holiday, but elegant as well.

Admit it, this is an awesome idea.

Whiskey and Beer tasting stations: Think wine tasting party but with whiskey and beer. You’d be surprised how much Irish booze one can assemble when needed.

Irish inspired foods: Yes, I hate corned beef and cabbage, but that doesn’t mean I’m opposed to serving it at our St. Paddy’s Day engagement party. I’ll just be over at the desert bar hording Bonnafee Pie or eating Brown Bread (aka Soda Bread) and Champ like it’s going out of style.

Irish Music: No, we cannot have Celtic Thunder at the engagement party. I don’t want to ruin their grand performance at the reception, but there are wonderful Irish bands that would make great entertainment like Flogging Molly or hell, I may even pull Gaelic Gala in for a warm up performance to their gig at the Stag/Hen party.

So start prepping you liver now as this will be the warm up event to Gaelic Gala. Really, the whole reason we’re having our engagement party on St. Paddy’s Day is so everyone can be fully prepared by the time they hit Ireland. Just please for the love of god don’t end up passed out in a planter. If you do, you will be mocked and there will be photographic evidence available for everyone afterward.

Xo,
Your future wife

It’s Entertainment

23 Feb

Dear Future Hubby,

DJ vs. band. It’s a difficult decision, I know. Given the type of wedding, one may be more appropriate than the other. Given the type of person I am, we’re going to have both. Sure, our wedding is probably going to be formal, especially if we go through with Gaelic Gala, but I’m sorry, I’m going to totally need to rock out to “Party in the USA” at least once, and maybe bust out some ‘N SYNC dance moves in my wedding dress as well. At the same time though, I have many ideas about live music, especially when it comes to Gaelic Gala. I have long thought about having, not one, not two, but three live musical acts for Gaelic Gala. They will not all be performing at the reception, but instead over the course of the wedding week. Yes, you read that right. The week long wedding celebration that will be Gaelic Gala. In keeping with the Irish theme of the wedding, all of these acts will of course be Irish and coincidentally, are three of my favorite musical acts ever. Imagine that.

Joint Stag-Hen Party: Gaelic Storm is going to tear the roof of whatever venue we choose to have this in. It’ll be like that scene out of Titanic only minus a sinking ship and Leonardo DiCaprio. All the bridesmaids will be very disappointed with the lack of Leo, but some traditional Irish music will not doubt cheer them up and goes great with ten shots of Jameson.

The Swell Season: No joke, I would have a fan girl moment if I met them.

Rehearsal Dinner: The Swell Season. No joke, they are my favorite band ever. If you haven’t seen the movie Once, well, I’m going to tie you to a chair and make you watch it over and over again until you’re sobbing like a baby at the end of it. The Swell Season is Glen & Marketa from Once, plus Glen’s band The Frames. Together they make up The Swell Season and their songs are so good I get the chills. Excellent entertainment for after the rehearsal dinner.

Reception: As previously mentioned, we will be dancing to “When the Stars Go Blue” by The Corrs and Bono. I don’t think The Corrs even play together anymore and Bono is off saving the world most of the time, but I’m sure with a little arm twisting (and $$ from the lotto we will be winning to pay for Gaelic Gala) they’ll totally show up to sing it live. If not, there is always kidnapping.

After The Corrs, that’s when the DJ would kick in, giving me us the best of both worlds. Live music plus hours of dancing provided by Miley Cyrus, Sir Mix-A-Lot, Journey, ‘N SYNC, Ace of Base, Spice Girls, Michael Jackson, and of course, Kenny Loggins. You don’t like Kenny Loggins? Well, you’re un-American then.

It has recently come to my attention though, that we may have been overlooking the greatest Irish artists of all time to play at Gaelic Gala. No, not U2. No, not B*Witched. No, not Sinead O’Connor. I’m talking about Celtic Thunder. You’ve never heard of them? Well, until two days ago neither had I. I was watching the BAFTAs and all of a sudden a commercial came on for Celtic Thunder: a group of 5 guys, ages ranging from what looks like 15 to 50, all dressed in tuxes as they sang and danced around the stage. Include some stairs, some set pieces, some dancing extras, and some orchestra members and it’s one big rockin’ party. It was like watching an episode of Glee with Irish dudes. As I sat there watching in horror amazement, I started to wonder why the hell we weren’t having them place at Gaelic Gala. There are so many great qualities that I think would make them perfect for our formal wedding in Ireland.

1. They don’t sing any original songs. Nothing screams good music like five Irish dudes trying to be a boy band by singing The Beach Boys, Michael Buble, Josh Groban, and Jeff Buckley. Really, I mean, why go with the original when you can have them singing, dancing, playing air guitar right in front of you?
2. They have costumes. Judging by their commercial and the video I viewed when I looked them up, they have some sweet ass costumes. We’re talking green polyester bell bottom suits and some great early 1900s outfits that look straight out of Newsies or The Legend of Bagger Vance. I want nothing more in the world than to be upstaged on my wedding day by a guy in a green suit playing a guitar.

Seriously, how can we pass this up?

3. They have a huge fan base. Their video, taped in front of a live audience, shows people wearing homemade Celtic Thunder shirts, older women screaming themselves silly like it’s the second coming of The Beatles, and even grown men standing up and clapping along. I REALLY want this to happen at my wedding. Wouldn’t it be fantastic if our mothers bonded over Celtic Thunder and wearing “I <3 George” shirts instead of nice formal attire, green tinsel wigs, all while waving glow sticks. Those would look great for the wedding pictures.
4. They come with set pieces. Their whole production takes place over a stage, stairs, some fake Astroturf, and a fountain. I’m really looking forward to their performance having more production value than our wedding. I think the Astroturf will really tie their performance and our wedding together nicely. Maybe after they finish singing Greg Brady can come out and throw a football at Marsha Brady’s nose.
5. They wear kilts for some songs. Enough said.

Really, how can we pass this opportunity up? Let’s just scrap all the other plans and have them play all three nights we need entertainment for Gaelic Gala. I just hope we’re able to get them because I’m sure they are in really high demand filming PBS specials and making old ladies throw their bras at them. On second thought, we don’t want any bra throwing at Gaelic Gala. We’ll stick with Plan A, but don’t worry. I’m sure Celtic Thunder will be available if we change our minds.

Xo,
Your Future Wife

Swell Season Photo Source: Mark Humphrey/Associated Press
Celtic Thunder Photo Source

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