Dear Future Hubby,
Shit just got real.
I’m always trying to think of ways to make Gaelic Gala even better than it already is. I know, how is that even possible as it’s already the coolest, rockstar destination wedding ever? I mean, every single second of it is planned. What more can we cram in there? Well, I have no idea where we are going to fit this in, but I don’t care. Gaelic Gala would not be complete without this.
Hold on to your hats and don’t wet your knickers when I tell you this exciting news but…Michael Flatley is coming back to reprise his starring role in Lord of the Dance! No fucking joke, dude is going to rock the sequined bolero jacket once more and grace the world with his dancing presence. I literally flipped shit when I found this out. This is fate. We have to have him make an appearance at Gaelic Gala now, with the entire touring company. I know it’s not as exciting as if he had rejoined Riverdance, but Lord of the Dance has more flair to it anyway and what’s a wedding without flair.
I’ve been racking my brain as to how to incorporate him as much as possible and I think I’ve come up with some amazing options for us to pursue.
- Lord of the Dance show – This is a given. Sure, we’ll have to amend the week itinerary and maybe have a show for everyone a few nights before the wedding or maybe the night that everyone arrives, but I feel if we don’t have a show, we’ll be depriving all of guest of his magicalness. He’s like the David Blaine of the Irish dancing world.
- Irish Dancing Lessons – We should contract him to give our guest Irish dancing lessons at some point during the week. Not only would everyone learn how to dance (aka look like idiots with legs flailing around) but he could also teach the guys the art of pulling off headbands and wearing jackets with no shirt on underneath. He’d also need to teach them how to properly wax/shave their chests, but they can do that after all the girls are off talking about how he’s the Irish David Hasselhoff.
- Contest Judging – After he teaches us all how to dance, Michael can be our honorary judge when on the night of the stag/hen party, we all get wasted and try to do an Irish jig at Danny Mann. He’ll give out extra points if you dance on both the table and the bench. Then a few of the girls will swoon over him, get him drunk as well, and convince him to give an impromptu show with Gaelic Storm on stage. It’ll be the Irish version of going to a strip club.
- Flute performance – Did you know Michael Flatley plays the flute? Well, he does, so I would like for him to play said instrument during the ceremony. I mean, how romantic would it be to look over while we’re getting hitched to see Michael Flately rocking it out on a flute? Pure magic, Kenny G style.
I’m open to any other ideas as to how to incorporate the Lord of the Dance into Gaelic Gala. I know I’ve already discuss have a Michael Flatley shaped cake, which given the fact that he’s now going to be dancing his little heart out for us, might be overkill. But who knows?
Just promise me you won’t get jealous of him. I mean, he is part David Hasselhoff, part David Blaine, part Keebler elf, so it’s hard to compete with that. But I assure you that I’m marry you because I love you and I don’t think I could ever truly fall in love with someone who looks better in sequences and bling than me.
Xo,
Your Future Wife
“President of the Michael Flatley Fan Club”









