Tag Archives: Online Dating

Constantly in communication

7 Nov

Dear Future Hubby,

In a relationship, it’s always nice to have good communication. It’s always nice to stay in touch, even if it’s just a daily text, email, phone call, message via carrier piegeon. What isn’t nice though is text, calls, emails. All day. Every day. Esepcially, if you haven’t even met me yet and we’ve haven’t even gone on our first date.

Don't be that guy

Welcome back to the land of the okcupid first date. Frist date land has been pretty uneventful as of late, until this past week, where I had the misfortune of agreeing to go on a date with Too Much Texting. As things generally do in okcupid first date land, our emails back and forth to one another started off well enough, especially since he brought up Brian Wilson in the first message. Word the wise, best way to get my attention in my quest to find Future Hubby? Mention my Dream Future Hubby in your first message to me. I will clearly give you a shot if you can carry on a conversation about Brian Wilson and his beard.

By last Wednesday, we had exchanged numbers, he had called and we had set up our first date. My first indication this was going to end badly was that he kept me on the phone for 20 minutes, during the work day, and then tried to keep me on the phone even longer with a “So can you keep talking?” Don’t you have a life? Sorry, I have a job and I kind of need to get back to it. Second issue. He wanted to go to UCB for our first date. Number one, I’ve never been a huge fan of improv. Number two, what happened to the hey, let’s grab a drink or coffee first date? I agreed to go anyway.

Cut to the next day, when at 10 AM, I get a general “have a good day, what do you have going on?” text from him. Not wanting to be rude, I texted back. This then turned into him texting me all day, about once every two minutes, about the most random shit. Then I stupidly at one point mentioned I was really good at movie and tv trivia, which prompted him to just continue texting me trivia questions. My personal favorite that made me go “I need to cancel this date/this guy is weirding me out/kill me now” moment: What was eating Gilbert Grape? Oh. My. God.

Meet me BEFORE you become a crazy texter

The texting continued even when I didn’t respond, along with phone calls, followed by more texting the next day. Was this guy aware that he hadn’t even met me yet? He could meet me and end up hating me. Was he aware that you’re supposed to play hard to get? It’s not just for girls, dude. By Friday night, I had cancelled. Well, I had come up with some excuse to get me out of it for the time being. Yeah, I know. Chicken shit move. If anyone asks, I’m in NC for work.

So FH, please keep this in mind when making first date plans with me. If you text me incessantly and ask me dumb trivia questions, I’m going to want to cancel. I’m going to make up some lame excuse as to why I can’t go out with you anymore. Do you really want to be the next Text Too Much? That’s right, I didn’t think so.

Not to say I don’t love the attention and a text or call every now and then, but at least wait until you’ve met me, decided you like me enough in person to WANT to call or text me, and then go from there. It’s a best way to ensure I don’t “have to go to North Carolina for work” or schedule another, normal “let’s grab a coffee” date in your place which, yes, I’ve already done.

Xo,
Your Future Wife

Back off the booze

21 Sep

Dear Future Hubby,

Please don’t be a lush. I’m all for the consumption of alcohol in moderation, but If I wanted to date an alcoholic, I’d at least find one who was a famous celebrity or something so that way I at least have a chance to end up on Perez Hilton.

Just another Wednesday...

Lately I have found myself in a land I like to call “first date hell.”  I’ve taken it upon myself to kick my own ass into gear and start making shit happen. And when I say making shit happen, I mean finally agreeing to go out with some guys, be set up on blind dates (gasp, shock, horror) and confront my fears.  One thing that always seems to make any first date go a little easier is a drink and let me tell you, that’s the first thing I order if I’m out at dinner or a bar for that initial meeting.  Soothes the nerves and adds a little more confidence. However, I limit myself to one, maybe two drinks, at most.  This cannot be said for one of my most recent first date cohort.

 

A few weeks ago, I agreed to meet some guy I had been talking to on okcupid for a drink at Mandrake in Culver City. No, I’m not a hipster. It just happens to be close to my apartment. We had been emailing for a couple of weeks so clearly, going out was the next natural step.  He seemed cool enough, interesting enough, sarcastic enough (I have a standard when it comes to humor/sarcasm that my guys need to have), so the date should have gone well, right? Wrong.

 

After settling into the back patio with a drink (beer for me, whiskey on the rocks for him) we began to chat and it became apparent to me that we not only had nothing in common but he seemed like a high functioning alcoholic. In between finding out that he doesn’t watch TV (I am best friends with my tivo), likes heavy metal rock (I just vomited in my mouth), and doesn’t like sports (how can you not love Brian Wilson?), he proceeded to yammer on about what types of whiskey he likes, what his favorite bars are, how he had to move within walking distance of his favorite bar, how he impulse buys when he’s drunk (and buys weird shit like real samurai swords and a penguin suit), and how he knows all the bartenders at his favorite bar. Never mind the fact that while we talked about all this super duper fascinating alcohol talk, he downed three whiskeys on the rocks and I was struggling to keep up by drinking beer.

Not that kind of peguin suit...

While he did have a decent, steady job, I just couldn’t overlook the fact that this guy clearly had some issues. Apparently he didn’t realize he was on a date with a girl who is a total lightweight and doesn’t drink more than one to two drinks a week, unless there’s an event going on. Apparently he also didn’t realize that discussing how shitfaced you get on an almost daily basis is not what you should be talking about on a first date. Turn off.

 

So please keep this in mind for our first date. Don’t booze it up. Don’t get shitfaced. Don’t talk about getting shitfaced. Don’t tell me about how you had to disable one-click shopping on Amazon because you impulse buy when drunk. Don’t point out that you’re best friends with the bartender. I have my own life to handle. I don’t need to be dating someone who’s life revolves around when they are going to get to drink next. I don’t care how great of a job you may have. Or how funny you might be.

 

Oh yeah, and don’t tell me you don’t like baseball and that you’re going to go home and play video games after our date. Cause if the whole high function alcoholic thing wasn’t enough to turn me off, that certainly is the next best thing to say to ensure you will be promptly deleted from my phone.

 

Xo,
Your Future Wife

Too good to be true

6 Jan

Dear Future Hubby,

Remember when I decided to take a break from online dating? Well, now that I’m back, giving it the old college try, I’m quickly being reminded why I took a break from it.

Why would Michael Owne be on a dating site? Oh wait...he's not.

When I finally decided to head back to the land of okcupid in December, I went right back into my usual online dating routine.  Add guys that seem interesting to my favorite’s list and wait and see if any of them responded. Apparently my profile picture is having some luck, as several did, but at the end of the day, none of my holiday coffee dates amounted to a love match. Bummer.

About a week and a half before the holiday, I stumbled across a profile for this guy who…well, seemed way too good to be true.  From his profile, he sounded amazing. Successful sports lawyer. Former athlete. Hobbies included attending sporting events and breeding horses. Sick of dating around. Ready to have a real relationship. Seriously, how could you not be intrigued by that? Plus, at least according to his photos, he was gorgeous. I did what I always do though and just added him to my favorites list, not really expecting to hear back cause let’s face it…even though I know I rock, I doubt I’d be anywhere near his league.

But I did hear from him though. The next day. And after a series of messages, I was more and more intrigued. He was Stanford educated so we bonded over the fact that we had both lived in Northern California, while I secretly jumped up and down over my luck of stumbling upon a Stanford educated lawyer who was hot. However, as our conversations went on and I felt them leading towards an eventual coffee date, things just weren’t adding up. Could I really be this lucky? How was this guy still single? A guy this gorgeous, with his shit so together? My skepticism was not helped my the fact that any time I looked at his photos, I felt like I was looking at a photo shoot or a guy who needed to be on an episode of The Bachelor.

Clearly if a guy uses this picture, he's a poser or a contestant on The Bachelor

JAA-Rule kept telling me that it was just finally my turn to have something good happen to me, but when Mr. Sports Lawyer starting mixing up his facts he had previously told me, I knew something was up. Thanks to this fab little celeb lookalike online tool, I was able to determine that not only was everything a sham, but dude had been using the photos of a redonkulously hot British soccer player, Michael Owen.

Well congrats Mr. (Fake) Sports Lawyer, you have reminded me why online dating creeps me out to begin with. You’ve really achieved the Creeper Award of the Year. I’m sure Chris Hansen will be around soon to chit chat with you.  Kudos on creating an intriguing profile and using photos of a guy that most normal Americans wouldn’t recognize. You actually had me believing you for about a week.  Sadly the only thing I gained out of this wasn’t a date, but instead another school girl crush on a celebrity. So really the congrats goes to you, Mr. Michael Owen of Manchester United. You and Tom Hiddleston can start a club on hot British celebs I have a crush on. Make sure you come up with some cool secret handshake.

Xo,
Your Future Wife

Online dating officially on hold

12 Oct

Dear Future Hubby,

If you’re out there on OK Cupid or Plenty of Fish or any other dating site, I hate to inform you, I’m not going to meet you within the next month or so. Over the past week or so, I’ve felt like I’ve been throwing all my energy into this online dating thing as if I HAD to find a guy on there, as if that was the only way. It’s not the only way to meet a guy, though yes, in this digital age, it can only help. However, I felt like I’ve been forcing myself a little too much to try and make it work. To try and find someone, to try and date people from it. You know what? I suck at that. Well, maybe I don’t suck, but I definitely suck at having any sort of enthusiasm anymore for it.

 

Who would want to online date after seeing this creepy picture?

 

At the beginning of this whole online dating adventure, I was excited to try it. I legit was. But over the weeks and months that passed, my interest waned. I found it to be a chore more than something I actually looked forward to checking up on every night when I got here. So here I am, months later and I find myself saying ok to drinks with some guy that I really have absolutely zero interest in dating and I can’t remember the reason why I even added him to my favorites list in the first place. I spent one whole night last week feeling like I had been slacking at the whole online dating thing that I made it my mission to respond to every guy that had message me back in the past week, only to get a bunch of responses back and not give a shit about any of them. Note to self: this is not the way to find a hubby.

Sure, I’m 26. I’m certainly not getting any younger, but since when did I find the need to put so much pressure on myself to online, to find a boyfriend?

So welcome to No Online Dating month. From now until November 12, I am ridding myself of the world that has seeming sucked the fun out of dating for me. No more OK Cupid. No more Plenty of Fish. I need a break.  People always say when you forget about something, stop focusing on it, that’s what it gets dropped right into my lap. Maybe one month of no online dating will force me to, gasp, meet someone in the real world. At a bar. At a restaurant. At a god damn house party playing flip cup. All I know is, maybe if I focus my attention on other areas of my life, something might happen, or when I go back to online dating in a month, I’ll be rejuvenated, refreshed and ready to go through some more profile. It’s like I’m going to a really long excursion to Burke Williams. If only life was that sweet…

Don’t think this means you’re off the hook for the next month, Future Hubby. I’ll still have plenty of stuff to rant to you about. I just won’t be pulling inspiration from the computer screen in front of me. At least not for 30 days.

Xo,
Your Future Wife

The out-of-state date seeker

24 Aug

Dear Future Hubby,

Can you please live in the same state as me?

Yes, that would mean you need to be a resident of California. It’s a pretty big state. I’m sure you can find some place within this massive state to call home. Ideally, some place in Southern California would do, but I’m not opposed to Northern as well, seeing as a grew up there. But if you live in a completely different state, not even one that borders California, it’s going to become a bit of an issue.

If Current Crush and I were to date...

This is not to say I’m opposed to long distance dating. I’m not. Current crush lives 3,000 miles away and if he wanted to to do a long distance relationship, well shit, sign me up. But if you’re just meeting me on okcupid and you live in a different state, I can’t help but say “Um….are there seriously no other girls in your state that you can date? You know, ones that you can actually see in person in a regular basis?”

This past weekend I had zero plans which was absolutely blissful.  As I sat there on my couch on Sunday afternoon, watching the Harry Potter marathon on ABC Family (don’t judge) I received an email notification that I had an okcupid message.  I immediately started placing bets on if it was a creeper or an actual normal person. Turns out, it was a normal person. A really hot normal person. One problem. He lives in Illinois! His entire message was “You’re lovely. It’s too bad I don’t live in California.”

Excuse me for busting this out but…..WTF?!!?! Dear Sir, thanks for telling me I’m lovely. I’d like to thank the photos from Bowie Bride’s wedding for giving me brand new profile pics and for Julia Papworth for doing an awesome job on my hair and make up that day. But seriously, why would you message me if you lived in a different state? Wait, how exactly did you even find me if you live in a different state? Who has random search options  set for a state that’s 1,800 miles away?

So I know there's an ocean between us, but want to have dinner?

I immediately went to his profile to discover that he lists Beverly Hills as is home city. I became more confused by the second. Upon further reading, he explains in his profile that he doesn’t actually live in California, but in Moline, IL instead. Sad face for him. I’ve been to Moline. Beverly Hills is much better. He lists Beverly Hills as his city because he doesn’t want to be contacted by creepy girls from his area. If he’s interested in someone in the greater Moline area, he’ll seek them out and contact them. Okay, we’ve all gotten the creeper messages on okcupid. I get them on a daily basis. But I just delete them or choose to ignore them. Can’t this guy do the same?

I doubt I would be this annoyed by this out of state date seeker if he had been a creeper, but no. He had to go and be really hot. Thanks a heap.

So please, if you’re going to message me on okcupid and you are actually a normal person, please live in the same state as me. It’s taking a lot of determination to actually keep doing this whole online dating thing so help a girl out.  Don’t make me get my hopes up only to find out you live in Bumblefuck, IL.

Xo,
Your Future Wife

Try and be a little taller, ok?

10 Aug

Dear Future Hubby,

Please, please, please be taller than me.

This will never be me

I know, I really shouldn’t be picky and I really shouldn’t base whether I date a guy on how tall he is but…it’s kind of a deal breaker for me. I don’t know what it is about a guy that is my height or shorter than me that freaks me out but I just can’t do it. I’m all about the guys that are tall, where I actually have to tilt my head up to look at them. That’s the ideal situation for me. I never thought the ideal situation would be one where I might potentially hurt my neck, but hey, it’s worth it.

I am by no means tall (5’6, maybe 5’7 if I’m not slouching) so it’s hard to be shorter than me. But when I find myself on a date with a guy who is not only really, REALLY overzealous and is about an inch shorter than me, I kind of want to run for the hills. True story. I went on a date with a former co-worker of one of my really good friends. I immediately had my guard up because I met him Friday night and he asked me out to dinner that next morning, and we went out the following day. I felt like he was trying to overcompensate for not being tall by being really overzealous. If there is one thing I can’t handled more than someone shorter than me, it’s someone that’s really overzealous about wanting to go out on a date with me. Needless to say, I didn’t go out with him again.

This isn’t to say I’m completely opposed to dating anyone shorter than 6 feet tall, but it’s just you know…a nice little cherry on top if I can find a guy that doesn’t make me feel like a giant. The current crush isn’t even that much taller than me, maybe and inch or so. Actually, I’m surprised I didn’t automatically write him off for being just a little bit taller than me. Congrats, current crush. You apparently have oodles of awesome traits that overshadow the fact that you’re not 6’2. Well done, you! Though I do think that at one point in his presence I said that being short is a deal breaker for me. Current crush, you are the exception to that, just FYI.

Sad face for you, Sarkozy

I wish I could just get past the whole “you have to be taller than me” thing, but I just can’t seem to break it. Even when perusing the profiles on okcupid, one of the first things I look at it height. Granted, I have been getting better at saving guys to my favorites list is they seem cool and are maybe only 5’8, so at least that’s progress.However, I doubt I’ll ever be comfortable getting to the point being okay saving someone to that list, let alone dating someone that is shorter than me. Call it a personal preference, call it me overlooking some great guys. I just can’t do it. I’ve tried. It’s not for me.

So FH, please start taking some growing pills or get that surgery Ethan Hawke gets in Gattaca, cause like I said, being shorter than me if a deal breaker. I know that is kind of bitchy, but hey, everyone has their personal preference. I guess this is just mine.

Xo,
Your Future Wife

Dial the digits

5 Aug

Dear Future Hubby,

Don’t ask for my number unless you’re actually planning on calling me.

Desperate much?

Why? Because it takes every ounce of trust in me to even give out my number in the first place. I’m totally that girl that is scared that by giving out her number, she is completely setting herself up for disappointment. What if he doesn’t call? What if he doesn’t text? What if he’s creepy and calls and then just breathes into the phone like a serial killer in an Ashley Judd/Morgan Freeman movie? What if he accidentally butt dials me because my name starts with an A and he didn’t actually mean to call me at all? Fail. If you don’t want my number, don’t be polite and ask for it anyway. That’s a shit cop out move and I’m not a fan of it. Only ask for it if you have a reason. Like you need to borrow a dvd or you need to text me the address to a house party you heard about. Not if I’m going to collect dust amongst a sea of Mindy’s and Melissa’s in your phone. So why even ask for it if it’s just going to take up space in your address book?

What do guys do with all the numbers or any personal information they accumulate but never actually follow through and use? Use the numbers to start their own Sudoku game? See what the coolest number combination they can come up with are? Take the numbers to a psychic to see if our phone numbers make us compatible? Map out how far apart you two live and if it’s more that 2.4 miles, then you guys clearly can’t date?

Second date with Music Guy clearly never happened, which now looking back on, I think I wanted to like him more than I actually did like him. But he asked for my address because he was going to try and come to my house warming party. He didn’t. So why did he even ask for it?  Unless he’s mentally 7 years old and his idea of Friday night fun is a rousing game of Ding Dong Dutch or he’s going to throw a bag of dog poo against my door ala Can’t Buy Me Love, I don’t see the point in him wanting that info.

How much do I love that this is real?

Then out of the blue, Double Threat sends me a personal Facebook message saying he lost his phone and needs my number. Um, newsflash, unless you plan on spotting our English professor again randomly, I don’t see any world where you actually call me/text me.  We haven’t spoken in three years. I talk to my tailor more than a talk to you and I’m a jeans and converse girl. That should give you an idea of how often I actually have to go to the tailor. Don’t get my hopes up. You already did that once already in college and look where it got me.

So if you want my phone number, sure, fine. I promise I won’t give you the Rejection Hotline like I used to give out in college. I’ll actually give you my number as part of my goal to put myself out there and trust guys more. But please don’t make me regret it. Actually call me. I may not pick up. You may have to leave a message. But if you get past that step, you’ll definitely be worthy of a call back, just for trusting me enough to actually return the call.

Xo,
Your Future Wife

So about that second date…

12 Jul

Dear Future Hubby,

If you ask me out on a second “date” not once, but twice, during our first date, please follow through on that shit. I know I’m not supposed to get my hopes up and I’m supposed to not over think it, but let’s get real.  There’s a fraction of me that is currently doing both as I sit here and type this.

First date Fresh Marg

I FINALLY broke down and went on a date with someone from OkCupid. Music Guy and I had been talking for a couple of weeks with what is quite possibly the longest letters I’ve ever written in my life. We’re talking longer than the last ditch effort letter to Double Threat, which itself was a novel. We met up for drinks on Friday and thanks to the craziness at work, I hadn’t allowed myself to get nervous and/or complete flake on the meet up. Go me! Progress on so many levels right there. This doesn’t mean I didn’t sit in my car for 10 minutes before walking in texting every single one of my friends I knew would listen with “I hate dating!!”

As soon as I walked in the door, I instantly felt better. Not because he was uber cute (cause he is) but I think the adrenalin kicked in. I couldn’t very well walk out. Welcome to the point of no return.  Two hours later and at least a few awkward pauses trying to figure out what we were going to talk about next, we decided to grab the tab. As we’re doing so, he proceeds to go “We should grad a drink or dinner, some time this week. I know you’re busy with Comic-Con and all but…” Um, yes! Yes, we should grab dinner. Yes, I’m swamped with Comic-Con, but hell, I’m trying to maintain a normal life right now in the midst of crazy.

Maybe I’ve been on too many bad dates but I was totally ready and willing to accept the “Ok, well it was nice to meet you. Have a good night.” ending to the evening and I would never hear from him again. Maybe this time would be different.  I decided to go out on a limb. As we had been talking about my new apartment, I invited him to my housewarming the next night and now, looking back, I maybe only 65% regret doing that. He had a show that night he had to go to for work, but he said he would try and stop by. Cut to 24 hours later, he didn’t stop by. No big deal, as I’m actually glad he didn’t show up to see me shit faced off margaritas, playing flip cup in my front yard. At the bar though, he seemed super into the party though, even grabbing my address and last name. Insert part where I get super nervous about if he googles me. I made sure nothing too incriminating came up when I got home. Nope, only my imdb page.

When we head outside, he hugs me and says it was great to finally meet me and then, started throwing out dates for dinner. “I have a show Wednesday night,

Johnny Knoxville sat next to us. Bar buddies! He drank a marg like me. How minty.

but I just have to stop by so maybe after that. Or Thursday night works too.” Sure, either works for me, just let me know.  I mean, what guys start actually throwing out days for date number two if he’s not interested, right? I’m not crazy, am I? He could have just totally blown me off if he didn’t really want to go to dinner. Then again…he didn’t come to my party and as a girl, I have He’s Just Not That Into You in my head going “If he’s not coming to your party, he’s just not that into you.”

So it’s now Monday and I haven’t heard from him in regards to dinner or my party or life.  If he makes date number 2 happen, then he does. If not, well, I am working Comic-Con next week. Maybe I’ll be a really dorky, but hot fanboy. Paging Seth Cohen. I’m just saying Future Hubby. Don’t mention date number two on the first date if you aren’t going to follow through. As much as I want to say I won’t over analyze any and all second date fake outs, every girl does and you better believe I’m trying to stop myself from doing so right now.

Xo,
Your Future Wife

Attractive? Absofreakinglutely!

30 Jun

Dear Future Hubby,

You’re not cute. At least according to OK Cupid.

I personally don’t think this is true whatsoever, so please don’t get a complex about this at all. I’m sure you’re quite easy on the eyes.

On Monday I got the most hilarious junk email from OK Cupid. I tend to ignore emails from them now unless it’s informing me that I have a new message from someone I’ve actually been decent about talking with. The subject line had me intrigued though: “________, we have data on your attractiveness.“

I couldn't make this shit up even if I tried

You do OKC? Wow, ok, well I guess you must be following me around with a hidden camera all What Not To Wear style or have seen me in the morning before I take a shower. Are Stacy and Clinton going to jump out and give me a credit card with 5K so i can buy some new clothes? No? Oh, alright. Well, I guess I’ll see what “data” you have on my attractiveness. I kept reading further.

We are very pleased to report that you are in the top half of OkCupid’s most attractive users. The scales recently tipped in your favor, and we thought you’d like to know.

How can we say this with confidence? We’ve tracked click-thrus on your photo and analyzed other people’s reactions to you in QuickMatch and Quiver.

Um…for reals? Because you know when people post pictures on dating sites they always post the best pictures of them. No one wants the world to see a picture of them shit faced and passed out. I also haven’t changed my pictures on there in months, so why now? But really, is sending an email like this supposed to make someone feel better about themselves? It more of less makes me think I was hanging out in the reject land of OK Cupid until now, like an out of place girl at a Star Trek convention. Because online dating didn’t already weird me out enough, let’s bring up every insecurity I have, thankyouverymuch. And on top of it, let’s carry on by making me think that the guys that I’ve have been talking to quite a bit, aren’t all the great in the looks department. My mood quickly turned around as I continued to read to the point where I found myself laughing out loud.

Your new elite status comes with one important privilege:

You will now see more attractive people in your match results.

This new status won’t affect your actual match percentages, which are still based purely on your answers and desired match’s answers. But the people we recommend will be more attractive. Also! You’ll be shown to more attractive people in their match results.

Well hells bells! It’s my lucky day. I get to see the cream of the crop of OKC now! But wait, what does that mean about every single guy I’ve already been talking to? They’ve been pretty cute in my opinion. Hiker Boy, cute. Agency guy, wicked cute. Venice Guy, cute. Now you’re not just making me have a complex OKC, but you may be giving Future Hubby one as well. Honestly, unless you’re planning on showing me guys that look like Ryan Gosling and Robert Pattinson, I’m pretty positive I’m going to see absolutely no change in who you decide to match me up with. I somehow doubt you have a little online vault of the “hot” guys in LA locked up that I can only access when the rest of the OKC community thinks I’m pretty enough.

So Future Hubby, please know that if I have been talking to you already on OKC, I do think you’re quite cute. OKC has no idea what they are talking about. Just don’t run off and start talking to less attractive girls now that I’ve apparently been put into the super secret OKC vault of “attractive” people. If you do that, you’ll be forcing me to go and upload ugly pictures of me with smeared eyeliner and drool coming out of my mouth while I sleep. But hey, if you think that’s sexy, just let me know. I’ll post one anyway.

Xo,

Your Future Wife.

There’s nothing “normal” about this

22 Jun

Dear Future Hubby,

If you want to ask me out, please don’t make your invitation to dinner make me question my sanity.

In my ongoing quest to not be weirded out by online dating/feeling like an okcupid slut by talking to like six guys at once, Hiker Boy has asked me to dinner. While I’m sure I can talk sports and outdoorsy-ness enough to convince him that I’m not a hermit who sits at home and watches Gilmore Girls all day, the way he asked me to dinner, while slightly funny, made me question if I was in fact…normal.

“So I’m normal and I think you’re normal – want to meet up for dinner some time this week?”

Cringing at the thought of this

Um…I think I’m normal too, but now I’m not sure. Then again, how normal is anyone really and what is one’s definition of normal.  Don’t fear, I’m not going to show up to dinner dressed up in all black, wearing goth make up, so I guess that means I’m normal.  I have a steady job and can pay all my bills on time, so I guess that means I’m normal. I drive a car, I go grocery shopping, I have friends, all of which make me normal. However, I do have some quirks, like everyone else in the world, which might make me well…not normal.  I do have an obsession with horrible reality shows, which may or may not be normal. I have a tendency to eat the same thing for dinner night after night, which I’m pretty sure isn’t exactly normal. I watch Gilmore Girls on a continuous cycle, which is normal if you know how great that show is. Not so normal if you haven’t given it a chance. I went to ten ‘N SYNC concerts in high school and collected Eggo boxes when Hanson was on them which unless you have a thing for Justin Timberlake or called yourself Mrs. Taylor Hanson growing up, definitely not normal. Do all these things make me normal or not normal, and by whose “normal” standard do I need to be judging myself by. And really, is Hiker Boy normal like he says? I like to think we all figure ourselves “normal” but to someone else, we know that we may very well not be. Who in this world is honestly 100% normal at all times? No one.

An awesome not so normal date spot

Normal or not, I will walk through my wall of “weirded out by online dating” fear and go to dinner. Maybe not this week, but next week. Britt keeps telling me to think of it as work drinks, which I just so happen to be the master of. If I think of it that way, maybe I’ll be more inclined not to be weirded out/try and come up with excuses as to why I can’t go.

So FH, if you plan on asking me to dinner by telling me that you “think I’m normal” I may in fact have second thoughts/not respond to your invitation for a couple days. Just ask me to dinner normally, no pun intended. “Hey, do you want to meet up for dinner some time?” seems like an excellent option. Don’t make me question if I’m normal. No one is normal. The fact that we are meeting online says that already…no matter how much those match.com commercials like to tell us one out of every five relationships starts online.

Xo,
Your Future Wife

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