Tag Archives: Premiere Pal

Probably shouldn’t play it cool

12 Jan

Dear Future Hubby,

You’re going to have to make it crystal freaking clear if you like me because I’ve realized I suck at making it crystal freaking clear if I like you. This is clearly an issue. While I may find myself attracted to masters of the mixed signal (Premiere Pal, anyone?) am I perhaps also sending mixed signals, or even worse, no signal at all?

Stop playing it cool, you're getting flowers

As I was leaving work last night, I got a text from a newish male friend of mine, Geek Chic, asking if I had a book we had discussed last time we spoke and could I drop it off at his office on the way home. Lucky for me, I had exactly what he was looking for in my car and his office was right on my route home. We had been talking more and more lately, which like any single girl, led me to start to develop a minor crush on him, or at least entertain the possibility of a minor crush on him. I’ve been trying to decipher Geek since I was first introduced to him by a work friend and of course this includes the following: Is he single? Does he have a girlfriend? Is he gay? I still haven’t come up with answers to either question, but I’m still hoping answers will present themselves.

As I pulled out the book for him, I felt the butterflies, daydreamed about if this was just his ploy to ask me out for dinner or a drink, and how I would do my best to flirt with him when I handed over the book. What did I do? I failed. I completely utterly failed. I walked into his office, dropped off the book, acted as if it was no big deal, told him if he needed anything else to let me know, and then left. No extraneous conversation. No flirting. No nothing. I “played it cool” and just walked away after a whopping 15 second interaction. I didn’t even give myself a fighting chance. Please explain to me how on earth I’m supposed to find a boyfriend let alone a future hubby in this world if all seem to do is “play it cool”? 27 years of playing it cool hasn’t really gotten me anywhere so why do I keep doing it?

It’s not like this is a one time instance too. On the rest of the ride home, I thought about how I tend to do that with most of the guys I like in my life or even ones I just meet or see in passing. I once met a guy at the bar, really hit it off with him, talked for a couple of hours, but when he asked me if I was okay to drive home (which I was) or if I needed a ride, I said I was okay to drive myself. It wasn’t until a few days later that I though maybe had a responded differently, he would had asked for my number or to see me again. My playing it cool/being completely oblivious that he may be interested in more than just my safety getting home was lost on me. I also totally check out the hot guys in the Starbucks line every morning. But all I do is look. Would it kill me to smile? See if I get a smile back? It won’t kill me to be friendly and smile and who knows what a smile could lead to? At least it’s me putting myself out there with a smile that says “hello” but could also say “you look pretty good for 8 AM without having a cup of coffee.”

Actually, don't do something this stupid

Moral of the story. I suck at making my feelings or intentions known, so please keep this in mind when dealing with me Just trust me when I say I’m working on it. Hopefully the more comfortable with you I become, the easier it will be for me to NOT play it cool, to smile at you, to not walk away after 15 seconds, to flirt with back. But just in case, if you want to tattoo your feelings or intentions on your forehead first, that’d be greatly appreciate. Sure, it may hurt a little, but it’s probably less painful than watching me try and play it cool.

Xo,
Your Future Wife

Psychic predictions…or lack thereof

6 Dec

Dear Future Hubby,

When December rolls around, all the favorite television shows start to go on the holiday hiatus and I’m forced to watch ridiculously bad shows or DVD box sets until new episodes come on in January. When I say “bad shows” I don’t mean like What Not To Wear or RW/RR Challenges. No, no. I mean really bad. Like Giuliana and Bill. Yeah. That’s right. I admitted it. I recently got sucked into an episode of Giuliana and Bill and while I would like to bill the Style network and make them give me back one hour of my life, the episode actually made me think of you.

This is clearly the psychic I need to go to

Yes, I know that’s odd and sounds a little crazy, but hear me out. During the episode I was watching Giuliana have drinks with some girlfriends and of course they end up talking about guys.  Nothing out of the ordinary here, until one of her friends mentions that she had recently gone to a psychic who told her that she was going to end up with someone she already knew. My reaction? Shit. What if that happens to me?

Going to the psychic part would be cool, yes, and my friend Val and I have made it our goal to hopefully go to one after the New Year, but ending up with someone I already know? I immediately start going through my list of single guy friends and trying to figure out how much Future Hubby potential they actually have?

Double Threat : He still live all the way across the country. He still rarely talks to me unless he gets drunks and sees our freshman year English professor. I secretly have always hoped that one day he’d show up on my door step and say “I’m an idiot. I screwed up. I want to be with you” and then I’d go around the corner and do a little dance like Laura Linney does in Love, Actually when she’s about to bag Rodrigo Garcia.  However, recently DT even forgot my birthday: an event that no matter how long it’s been since we’ve communicated, he always called or texted on. FH Potential: 10%

J-Squared: He also still live all the way across the country (anyone else seeing a pattern here?) but I have to give the guy credit. He has that sixth sense about when I had just about forgotten him and popped back up. Well done, you. However, flirting is all it’s ever been and even though I did marry him in a random game of MASH that Val and I played on Saturday night (don’t judge) I don’t have bleached blond hair, a fake tan, and fake boobs, which is exactly his type based off of every picture I’ve ever seen of him with other girls. FH Potential: 15%

Premiere Pal: Currently dating someone else, currently still sending mixed signals, currently still incredibly dense. He’s quickly turning into another an emotional pseudo-boyfriend, which sorry, the role has already been filled in my life, so thanks for playing. However, the currently sending mixed signals gives me a minor glimmer of hope that one day, he might change his mind. FH Potential: 30%

Emotional Psuedo-Boyfriend: Been dating someone else for almost a year and we’re too the point now that he annoys me half the time. We’d probably kill each other within the first 10 minutes. FH Potential: 3%

My Favorite Mistake: A really, really “poor life choice” from my college years who has oddly enough turned into a pretty decent friend. Out of all the above, he’s probably 3rd in the Friend competition and that’s only behind Premiere Pal and EPB.  Sad thing is, said poor life choice has put me in the position that I would never ever admit it IF I started to like him again and I’m sure the feeling is mutual. FH Potential: 11%

I'm sad for myself that I watched this

Clearly, if I walk into the psychic and hear what the girl on G&B heard, I’d probably laugh in her face. Out of the above, the highest percentage anyone got was 30% and if someone is going to be FH, we’re going to need to get above the 50% mark. However, there could be some truth to it, especially since I’d ideally like to date someone who I’ve been friends with first. Damn you G&B for making me A: seriously debate about going to a psychic and B: planting a seed of doubt in my head about every single guy friend I have.

If you are somebody I already know, well, at least you probably aren’t shocked by my admitting to watching Giuliana and Bill. You most likely already know that and if we’re still friends even after that, you just earned even more brownie points.  There might just be hope for you yet.

Xo,
Your Future Wife

Nosey about nookie

24 Sep
Dear Future Hubby,

If you’re going to basically ask me when the last time I had sex was, I’m going to think you might like me. Just sayin…my other guy friends don’t normally just bring that up in random conversation.

Let's just make a pit stop

Things with Premiere Pal have taken another turn towards “What does it all mean?” territory. And before you go ahead and tell me that I’m over analyzing it, trust me, you’ll get why I’ve ventured into this dangerous land without weapons or reinforcements.

A few nights ago, I went to dinner with Premiere Pal. Lately, we’ve started hanging out a lot more by ourselves and not with any of our other friends. Whether it’s brunch together or just grabbing a coffee, our small group of mutual friends have all but disappeared. Raise the red flag right there, Capture the Flag style. Because of this though, I wasn’t completely shocked that we ended up going to grab a bite to eat and catching a movie.

The conversations, as ours normally tend to do for some reasons, sticks to who we’re dating and our current love lives. Exes, dates, failed dates, the idea of having a relationship vs. wanting to have fun. Somehow after discussing his ex for 20 minutes, Double Threat got brought up and how that’s the last time I’ve had any semblance of a relationship, if you can even call it that. Yeah, all the way back in college. There. I did it. I admitted it. I haven’t had any semblance of a  relationship since college, just dated.  (So not) Awesomespice! At which point, he asks me “So wait, you mean you haven’t been with anyone since then or your haven’t BEEN with anyone since then?” No, like I haven’t been in a real relationship with anyone, but thanks for asking that fabulously awkward question and taking our friendship to a whole different level of “What does it all mean?”

Do guy friends really do that? Do they really ask that if they don’t have some other intentions? I don’t think I’ve ever had a guy friend do that and I’m definitely a guy friend type of girl. I have more guys in my cell phone contacts than girls..

Life should always be explained through Mario Bros.

So here I am, still confused, deep in over analyzing hell, trying to figure out for serious…what does this all mean? I told him that I’m often torn between wanting a relationship and wanting to just have fun and date. As if that subject alone didn’t cause inner mental conflict, this now gets added to the pile. Part of the whole evening screams “Hey, I like you” and part screams “Friend Zone Central, bitches!!” It doesn’t help that as we were wrapping up dinner, he says to me that a friend once told him he was going to meet someone the way he met me. Yeah, for serious, I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried.

So if you’re going to ask me about my sex life, can you make it a little more obvious if you’re just being nosey and trying to be a good friend or if you want to go out.

Xo,
Your Future Wife.

Curious about other cuties

8 Sep

Dear Future Hubby,

If you like me, does that mean you’re going to grill me about the other guys in my life? Is that your way of sizing up the competition?

Boys are confusing. Yes, I’m stating the obvious for every single girl ever, but it’s true. I just don’t understand why boys do some things. I’ve recently noticed a friend of mine, a guy friend, doing something…a little bizarre in my opinion, and I’m not exactly sure what to make of it. One of my closest guy friend, let’s dub him Premiere Pal, has been inquiring a lot about other guys in my life, if I’m seeing someone, how that date with so and so went.

Nick likes Trish. Norah's with Tal. They like each other. For the love of god can they just date each other?

Premiere Pal and I have been friends for about a year now and I’ll admit, when I first met him, I got a little bit of a crush on him. However, at the time, he was totes taken. Major fail, indeed.  I moved on though and we remained close friends, talking almost daily. He’s been really supportive throughout the past year and everything that has gone on, which honestly, is nice to have when you’re single and you’ve become slightly bitter cause life is always a little easier when you have someone to share it with. Then, a few months ago, he became single. Say what??? Yeah, that’s right. It was kind of awesome, until I realized he may have had a thing for another one of our friends. A girl just can’t win, can she?  So I again, got over it, moved on, but was still super tight with him.

However, over the course of the past month or so, we’ve actually gotten to be closer, and his feelings towards our other friend have changed, or so he tells me.  Almost every time we talk now, or go out form drinks, or find ourselves at the same party, he inevitably brings up guys in my life. Being such a close friend, I have divulged quite a bit to him about my love life, so needless to say, he has a lot of ammo, but dude, there are tons of other things you can talk about with me. I can’t even count how many time he has brought up Current Crush. He never used to care this much about who I liked or who I was dating, so what’s the deal? Why do guys go that?

This is the part where any girl would begin to over analyze.  Does this mean he likes me? Why is he so curious? Does he want to go on a double date or something? Is he just hoping I find someone to date so he can have another guy friend around? Of course I do secretly hope that the answer to the first question is yes, but then again, I don’t want to get my hopes up. I did that when I first met him and he was taken. I did that when he and his girlfriend broke up, and then he went after someone else. Either third times the charm or I just need to move on. So until then, I’m just not going to read in to. As another friend just told me, don’t read into it because then if he likes you, you will be pleasantly surprised. Sure, I may have already starting going “What does it all mean?” but I can let it go. Better late than never.

Just don’t keep asking me the same questions over and over. Current Crush is still going to live across the country. Double Threat is still going to be a douche and only reach out to me when drunk in a bar. I’m still going to be weirded out going on a first date with anyone from okcupid. Music Guy is still going to blow me off despite seeming like he wanted to go out again.  If you keep asking, I may get so annoyed that I won’t even care anymore if your interrogation actually means that you are just sizing up the competition in the hopes of one day asking me out.

Xo,
Your Future Wife

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